FRIDAY FIVE: Tevez acting, van Persie babysitting and Ozil assaulting a referee!

PUSH COMES TO SHOVE

Seems Herr Ozil has let that big-money move to Real Madrid go to his head. Mesut: the referee is there to supervise the game, not to be dumped on his arse whenever you feel like it. 

DOWN AND OUT

Central defenders, take note: if you're concerned that your tackling may not be totally effective, simply place a flight of stairs beside the penalty area. This will be sure to immobilise your opponent completely and provide the rest of us with a good laugh.

ROBIN RED FACE

Poor old van Persie. He's doing his best to be a good role model for the youth of today, and then one of the kids goes and does this. Leaving the Arsenal star looking more than a little concerned. 

IT'S 'CHARLES' TEVEZ!

Footballer-fronted adverts have a long history of being both bizarre and embarrassing (stand up, Kevin Keegan). However, this commercial, featuring Carlos 'Charles' Tevez conversing incomprehensibly with a Spanish Paul Calf, may just take the biscuit. 

AUSSIE RULES!

Last time around, we showed you an almost-certainly-fake viral, in which the All Blacks perform some (literally) incredible feats of skill. This time around, we'll show you some Aussies cheerfully taking the piss out of said viral.