9) “When you’re dealing with someone who only has a pair of underpants on, if you take his underpants off, he has nothing left - he’s naked. You’re better off trying to find him a pair of trousers to complement him rather than change him.” – Arsene Wenger on Arsenal’s attacking style. Apparently...!
8) “Tight as a monkey’s chuff, weren’t it?” – Former Southend boss Colin Murphy on a nip-and-tuck encounter at Roots Hall. And before you ask, no, we have no idea how he knows just how tight that is.
7) “If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.” – Ian Holloway after his Blackpool side had lost 4-1 to Crystal Palace. Your honour…
6) “If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, he’d have put grass up there.” – Nottingham Forest and Derby legend Brian Clough explains his footballing philosophy
5) “To put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee.” – Former QPR boss Ian Holloway describes his side’s win over Chesterfield in his own unique style
4) “I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families.” – Ex-Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho crosses swords with his Arsenal counterpart Arsene Wenger
3) “If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he’s called a philosopher. I’d just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap.” – Gordon Strachan was not impressed with the enigmatic Eric Cantona
2) “If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim.” – Former Scotland boss Berti Vogts hits back at his critics
1) “Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home.” – Arsene Wenger cuts Sir Alex Ferguson down to size after the Man United boss lauds his side as the best in the Premiership
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